To Be Known
People used to ask, "What does it mean to be known by God?" And I remember sitting and pondering that question thinking that it was such a churchy question to ask. What does that even mean? That He knows I exist? That He loves me the way I am? Sure. But I didn't understand the depth to that question. Not until recently at least.
Time for a heart to heart moment, I recently was going through a season where I was navigating through a lot. Friendships, past relationships, life calling, etc. All the things that a young adult at some point in their life have to confront. I personally really struggled through this season. And when I say struggled, I mean crawling on my knees struggled. Finding myself at a point where I was holding onto shame, disqualifying myself, and desiring to move and start over. I really tried to find my way through by holding onto everything instead of giving it all to God. I was terrified of not knowing what would happen next and the thought of disappointing people killed me. I was stuck in the place I was in because of fear.
Eventually, I came to a point where I couldn't carry it all on my own anymore, my problems were to big for me to try to settle on my own. I came to a moment of breaking and where I had to say, "God, I trust you. I trust that You are who You say You are. You are a God of grace and love. You are a faithful God that redeems His children. I trust that You are holding me through this." And at that point, I gave it all over to Him and truly allowed Him to be Lord over it all. And let me tell you, in an instant all the heaviness was relieved. The pressure that I carried was gone. The stress and shame that shadowed me no longer followed. His spirit of peace began to pour into every part of my life. I was reminded of His faithfulness and of what a good Father He is.
So of course, after a season full of rollercoasters and the battle of surrender, you can come out feeling secure in the reminder of who God is. But the journey through this season of mine ended so much sweeter than simply with a reminder. It ended with a revelation. One random evening, the Lord began to speak to my heart through someone else and I ended up finding myself in tears on my bedroom floor. It was as if He was playing a recap of the last season of my life except through His eyes.
I saw His heart hurting when mine was aching. I saw Him reaching when I was withdrawing. I saw Him fighting when I was giving up. He was saying how I was so worth it when I would ask Him to let go. He told me that my past didn't label or define me, it didn't hold any power over me. He was telling me that He's already reconciled my past and redeemed me. And most importantly, He said the words that every daughter needs to hear. He said, "Through it all, I knew those things were not who you were. You're my daughter, I know you and I know your heart. That was not you. And I will never be the one to leave you, even in the midst of those times, because you are my beloved. A father never leaves His child but instead fights to keep them close. You are worth every battle, Haylee."
After experiencing His fatherly love in such an intimate way, I realized what it meant to be known by Him. To be known as His daughter. To be known through the mess and be seen as treasure. To be known as worthy, loved, and valued. To be Known by God has everything to do with understanding your identity in Him. And with that understanding, you begin to walk in the freedom that God intended for you to walk in. You begin to hold the authority you have through His Spirit. You walk in boldness and joy. You witness your life begin to be transformed by His presence.
The power of knowing your identity is life changing. It's not something to be taken lightly or a topic that should be categorized as "common". It's something that changes your perspective while going through life, it allows your eyes to see what He sees. My life has taken a complete 360 since the awareness of who I am became known. It's a gift honestly, or even a dream come true, knowing that I have a Father that's for me and so so good to me. So now I ask you... Do you know what it means to be truly known by Him?