Dear 2018

Dear 2018,

You’ve been quite a year. One with so much heartache and loss, yet also the source of so much joy and growth. 2019 is just around the corner and there are few things I’d like to acknowledge before wrapping up the year and tying it shut.

You’ve been painful. The first couple months of the year was absolute hell. I held on for dear life. But God carried me through it, He pursued me through it all. He restored me and revealed His love to me in a way that I couldn’t shake. I made it through and I came out stronger.

During the summer months, I felt like I was living my best life. I felt bold in my identity as a daughter. I met an amazing man. And I was confident in the love that I was receiving from everyone in my life.

Before you knew it though, my world had crashed. And I honestly wasn’t exactly sure how to move forward into a future at that point. I felt a flood of emotions.

But now, after processing for the last 2-3 months, I can say that I will enter 2019 feeling victorious. Because although I faced many battles, I was not defeated. My joy was not stolen. I wasn’t silenced. I was empowered. I gained community. I trusted and I persevered. I was reminded of my worth. I was not broken. And I am not a victim. I am a daughter.

So with that being said, I feel that it is time to boldly declare a few things before the new year. In 2018, I leave my feelings of anger and bitterness. I choose to lay down my dependency on and pleasing of man. I choose to not carry shame or guilt. Instead, I enter 2019 choosing to give thanks with a heart of forgiveness. I choose to appreciate every relationship and the good that God brought through them. I choose to surrender the pain that I carry. And most of all, I choose to release those who have wronged me into the arms of our Father who loves relentlessly.

2018, you’ve definitely been one for the books. I’ve learned so much from all of the experiences that came with you, but I am also so ready for the next. So cheers to new beginnings and the end of another season.

Dallas, I’m coming for you.

With Love,

Haylee Jean